Happy Anniversary Sweetie!

Today is the 14th anniversary for Husband and me.

It's hard to believe it's been that long, but he still makes me laugh more often than anyone else. I always have a good time when he's around - even when he's aggravating me! What else can you ask for in a marriage? Yeah, we'd get married if we could; but we can't right now. But this isn't a political post, but a personal one.

He's very thoughtful: when he buys gifts for me, he's constantly buying things that I mentioned that I want but have long since forgotten. When I'm sick with a migraine or an arthritis flare, it doesn't bother him that I don't like to have anyone around. He'll just poke his head in the bed room once in a while and ask if I need anything - then leave.

I'm really grateful to have him in my life.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Part of it is the simplicity of the holiday itself. The holiday is meant to be a brief pause in a busy world to be grateful. Just be grateful, that's all. We use the ritual of a meal to reinforce that feeling of gratitude. Many Americans already say a prayer before dinner that expresses gratitude. But this annual tradition also means gathering family and friends and enjoying each other's company. Nothing is expected - no gifts, no cards, no special trees or baskets - oh maybe contribute a side dish for the meal, but not even that in some families. Just sit around, talk and eat and remember how much you have to be grateful for.

Sitting around and talking and eating also aptly describes my upbringing. You see, dinner every night was a command performance. No excuses not to be there. Good food (my mom was a good cook, surprise!) Dinner was always an hour, with all the talking 5 kids and 2 adults could do, and 2 or 3 hours was not unheard of. We really enjoyed each other's company, and still do. My parents are dead now, but when the 5 of us get together it's like a magnet. We're pulled together by some invisible force, because we're almost always in the same room together.

I must admit the traditional Thankgiving meal is my favorite meal. Just ask my husband - we have roast turkey (or fried - YUM) several times a year. In fact we have two (not one but TWO) 21 pound turkeys in our freezer. The local grocery chain was having them on sale (29 cents a pound, I think), but by the time we got there, these where the smallest birds left. I don't care. I'll eat it!

I'm most grateful for the people in my life, because they're the most important things in life: my husband - 13 years is hard to believe it's gone by so quickly. My family 4 siblings, 12 nieces/nephews with 2 GREAT nieces/nephews on the way, friends - some I've known since high school and others only a few years, but fortunately there's quite a few. I'm also grateful to have a job that I like working for a company that treats me well and that I think I can trust. Hard to find these days. I'm grateful for my home - not just the house - but everything about it that MAKES it home - the Trixie and Tillie my cats, the things husband and I have chosen for it and the memories we've made there.

And I'm really grateful that Thanksgiving is a holiday, so that I can take a moment and remember how lucky I am.

Father's Day

My father died in 2002. While I think of him often, I tend to think of him more on holidays, Father's Day among them. And this year Father's Day falls on his birthday.

It's hard to describe my father, really. He was a quiet man - probably the only quiet person in my immediate family - and yet he liked to talk. He was quiet because he wanted to know what we were thinking and the best way to do that was to let us do the talking, so he did. But he did LIKE to talk, but preferred to do it one on one. He was never the life of the party (that would be my mom!), but he'd find someone to talk to and talk their ear off in an out of the way corner.

The only thing he loved more than his kids and grandkids was his wife. While some feel that parents should put children first, speaking from someone who grew up in a family that didn't - I think parents should put their marriage first. Don't misunderstand, both of my parents were VERY good to us. But I always knew how in love my parents were with each other. I heard him say many times that he was more in love with her than he was the day he married her. Until the day he died, his face lit up as soon as she walked into the room. Growing up in that kind of environment was amazing. Maybe that's what allowed 7 people to live in a house of less than 1000 square feet and only 1 bathroom! Things were different with post-WWII housing...

My dad worked in a steel mill for 30 years, then worked for the city of McKeesport for 12 more years. One of the things that he was proudest of was that none of his 5 children ever worked a day in a steel mill. He never nagged any of us about not working there. He would just ask us about our plans for college or some sort of schooling after high school. He'd never offer to help us get a summer job at the mill, but would make suggestions on where ELSE we could find one. That was his style, never in your face - just a gentle nudge in the direction he thought we'd be happiest.

And while he was quiet, he did have a temper. He didn't lose it often, but when he did you didn't want to be in the same room. Or area code... I remember once when my brother said one too many teen-aged smart-alecky things to my mom, my father picked my brother up, and pinned him up against the refrigerator (with my brother's feet not touching the floor) and snarling at him "No one talks to your mother that way!" And no one did, after that.

The last few years of my father's life were spent in a great deal of pain, because of a progressive illness that he had. But the grace with which he handled the ever-increasing pain was amazing. Selfishly I hope I never have to experience the kind of pain he did, but if that's what comes to pass for me, I'm very grateful for the role model my father was.

In so many ways.

I love you Dad. Happy Father's Day.

Things do change for the better....

Just not always in a straight line.

I work at a large, conservative company here in Columbus. By conservative, I mean the original meaning of the word, not the connotations its taken on the last few years. A few years after I started at the company I was asked to work on the Diversity Committee for my department. Each committee lasted for a year, beginning in January of each year. In February, we had multiple events around Black History Month. In March we had multiple events around Women's History Month. Both months were full of activities that were well-received, but frankly, pretty safe.

Then at the committee meeting after Women's History Month, I asked what the diversity committee planned on doing for Gay Pride Week. You could have hear a PIN drop. The looks of confusion would have been hysterical, if it weren't so said. To be fair this was 1997, but still....

Anyway, the committee decided to send a newsletter around to each employee on the first day of Gay Pride Week. That's how both Black History and Women's History months both started. The newsletter had a short article in it with a short history of the Stonewall Riots, a promotional article plugging the local gay men's chorus and a calendar of local pride events for Pride Week that year. That's all - one page both sides is all it was. But it was the first Gay Pride Week activity of any departmental diversity committee in any part of this very large, company.

It got noticed. (G) Naturally enough not all of the notice was welcome, but overall the reception was pretty much "Ho hum. Something else to ignore from the diversity committee." I had to talk the committee chairperson off the proverbial cliff the night before everyone would get their newsletter. She was sure there would be hell to pay.

What brings this to mind is that THIS year - a mere 11 years later - there are company sponsored posters in all the buildings celebrating "Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Month" (corporate speak makes it longer, but I'm not complaining). It's clear that the company spent money on this by having marketing develop and print the posters. And the focus of the posters are gay FAMILIES - showing a gay couple with their toddler. And some individual departments now have a bulletin board devoted to Pride Month (yeah, it got longer too!) with a nice explanation of the Stonewall Riots.

I have to admit, the first time I came across this bulletin board I got teary-eyed. Things do change, they just take time. Happy Gay Pride Week/Month everyone!

My favorite time of year

This is my favorite time of year - early spring. The grass is lush and green. The leaves on the trees aren't fully out yet, so they're all different shades of green. Tulips, hyacinths and other flowers just bursting with color and scent. Warm days, cool night and NO BUGS, at least not yet.

We don't always get a spring like that. I live in Ohio, so lots of springs are grey, cold and rainy.
But this spring is what God had in mind when spring was created. Just gorgeous.